Prayer for today 6/27/12

Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God— soon I'll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He's my God. (Psalm 42:11 MSG)

When we are down as athletes we tend to turn to our sport to get us back to where it is we belong. We use the activity to put that smile back on our face.

Well I know that God wants us to turn to him to fix what ails us. God strengthens us everyday if we invite him in.

Working out is a tool that He has given us to keep our mental and physical in step. Let us not forget to seek His council when things are just not quite right.

"Lord we come before you today with praise & worship on our lips. Lord we ask that you help us continue in your strength and that we help spread the good news. Your Love and Your Strength is sufficient" in Jesus name we pray. Amen

Being at Peace with ones Past.

Have you ever noticed, that some days, we will spend all our time living in the past. Don't tell me that you don't do it. We all do. It's not a bad thing as long as you don't camp there. Learning from our past is a good thing. It's what we are supposed to do. Dwelling on it, and wishing our lives away, is nothing but a waste of time. Believe me I know it's a waste of time because I have been doing it for MANY years now. Attached to this post is picture's of who I was. I am proud of them. I am proud of what I was able to do then at such a young age. I am proud of the stories I can tell from them. 

But leaning that it is ok to move is liberating. I feel like I have lost 1000 lbs. The past can eat you up. it can hurt you and impale you. It can drain the life out of you if you let it. Yes we all have a past, and I for one will look back on it, and be proud and not ashamed, laugh and not cry, smile and not frown. So take a look at who I was. Then enjoy like I am who I have become. The smile is real. The Love in my heart is real and the Joy on my life is never ending.

God Bless
Steven

Building Trust & Turning Door Knobs

Sometimes, I wonder what is this writing all about. Who am I serving by writing? I am writing for me? Do I have my readers interest in mind, when I am writing? I am not sure what the answer is. I do write what is on my heart at the time. I think I am writing to help people with what ever is on my mind. I do believe that God has a hand in my writing. Sometimes I am doing it just to reach out. I want to get people thinking about something anything other than the struggles that they are facing at that moment. A diversion is needed at time to break what it is that has a hold of us.

But I feel like I have lost my reading public. My followers are gone. A lot is going on these days with me. I (as most of you know) have been really struggling myself with things. I am working on that with the help of my Pastors and my God, Jesus Christ & the Holy Spirit.

I want to get back to the title of this blog post, Building Trust. Have I lost your trust? If so I want to earn it back. I have done some stupid things I know this. It doesn't take a cement truck to run me over to figure that out. I have been flakey, I have said I would do one thing then pull out of it two day's later. I don't have all the answers for some of what I do. Call it buyers remorse for lack of a better term.

But know this, I do have you (the reader) in mind when I write the things I write. I do care about people. I do not ask to be paid for my writing because I don't believe anyone would. How can I build trust with my readers again? The only way I think I can do that is to stay on the positive side of life. I have dwelt to much on the negative. I want to make positive changes to this blog and to my life as well.

God is in control and I have to let Him be that in my life. I want to make people happy and get them to move and do thing's that they want to do. But first I have to be happy with Steven Fredericks. I have lot's of writing ideas. I have people that deserve to be written about and yet I cannot do it until I am in the right place. Yes there is much more to life than SPORT. But it is in sport that we can find strength of the physical body and movement. We also need to work on our Spiritual side as well. We/I need to learn balance in all things.

Does this mean no more sport for me of course not. I am someone who needs a challenge. For me the challenge has to be new and of great challenge. This is why I have signed up for the Crooked Road 24 hour Ultra. IT'S a big thing for me because I have never done one. It is big and a lot of people think I am going to pull out or fail in a bad way. But I won't because I know that I will be on that start line and I will give it my best. I will get out there and pay the price of finding out how far I can push myself. For some it's an Ironman, For others it's climbing a mountain, Others it can be as simple as getting up and walking to the store.

I have been inspired by the actions of others for most of my life. Finding out who I am as an individual person has been a very long search. The search continues, but the journey is a hard but fun one. Like one of my friends said; if you figure it out (Life) then you must be at the end of it. Well I am not ready to be at the end of it. Let us all keep looking and discovering who we are in Life and in Christ.

I have taken enough of your time today. I love you all, I relish your comments, no matter what they are. I wish you all the best of the best. As I move forward I hope you will learn to trust in the fact that I will be here writing and inspiring those that need it, everyday.

God Bless you all
Steven

CR24 Training Time

Time is ticking away

Well I am into my first week of training for the Crooked Road 24 hour Ultra. I have to tell you that I am excited about this. I have a friend, who said to me the other day; 

You never start out with anything small, do yeah? I will get more Tic Tac's ready, and the baseball bat is always at arms reach... Plus you know the support is always there. 24 hours of running you say...

My response was that I had started small. I did a 1/2 marathon. I even did a 5k this year as well. I am starting smart though. My running will ramp up over the next few months leading up to Race day. I will be talking to a few coaches that train people like Pam Rickard and other runners as well. 

Something I have learned this week, is that I have it in me to run in circles. I have been training on a bike path in Plymouth, that closely resembles the course that we will be running during the CR24 .(Crooked Road 24) 

While using the HRM I am able to keep my HR low and still keep moving at a pace that I can sustain for a while. My goal is 85 miles. My dream is 100 miles. I can get there but like all things it takes time and training. I am getting into the training. I will also be getting back into the gym, and doing some lifting 2 times per week.

So yes the clock is ticking. I am excited and I am thankful that I have all my friends to lean on. Friends Like Jim Ristow, Denise Hiller of Team Wattie Ink, Amy Walling, Robert Key, Linda Banks, and Oh So, So many more.

But there is one lady who's brain I will be picking and that is the amazing Pam Rickard, who just completed the 4 Desert's event know as the Gobi March. Pam and I have one thing in common. Runwell. Runwell is the charity that I will be raising money for while I train for my race. If feel inclined to donate and help with people fighting Drug & Alcohol addiction you can find the link to the right of this post. 

Well is time to sign off for now. I pray that you all have a great day and to all you runners out there get your Runwell on.

God Bless

Steven

P.S. did you notice that the DOOR KNOB CHRONICLES is back. Still trying to get my domain name fixed. But this will work for now.

The 24 Hour Journey

The Beginning of my Journey starts here.

Today was the day. June 12, 2012 is the day that I, Steven A. Fredericks, put the wheels of change into motion. As a lot of you already know I have been a runner most of my adult life. Since 1990 my running turned into a run now and then, but mostly eating and laziness. But this year I have put all that behind me. Yes I am still a big man. But I have been working on it.

Today I took a HUGE LEAP and entered my very first Ultra distance event. This has been a dream of mine for a very long time. Call it a bucket list thing if you will. The idea of running for 24 hours is not new. The idea of ME doing it is not new either.

Call this my attempt at something much bigger than myself. My Mount Everest, if you will. I said at the beginning of 2012 that this was going to be a year of big changes for me. So far it has been. Some amazing and some are still fights. But the changes are still coming. I have met some awesome people this year.  One of them being Jim Ristow. Jim has shown me what it means to fight. Jim is an Ironman and I mean that in many different ways. Jim is teaching me to stay in the fight and not give up. (Just don't tell him I said that.) Then there was the opportunity to host the amazing Sister Madonna Buder. This 81 year young lady came to stay at my house for a week. She was here to do the 116th. running of the Boston Marathon. The drive and passion for life that comes from this lady, words cannot do her justice. She is so full of life and the blessings of God. Yes these meeting have change me.

I have also decided to join forces with Runwell, The Linda Quirk Foundation. This great Lady and here foundation are helping those who struggle with Drug and Alcohol addiction. The foundation helps to fund entry into Rehab. The people in the recovery community are wonderfully supportive and also great examples of what can be done when you put your mind to something. Take Bob Balfour for example, I don't and wont even try to tell you his recovery story as a whole because truly I don't know it. But what I do know is that He hit bottom hard, real hard, the world and everything around him was not good in his life. But the light of recovery came his way and now he is living and moving forward helping others to find a new life through Recovery and Running. He belongs to a group called "Runners in Recovery" what an awesome way to help and support others.

So yes my life is changing and I am blessed to be around such great people. I am going to be meeting and making new friends this year. Kathy and I are headed out to Kentucky for this years running of the Louisville Ironman. My life is good and this journey is going to be filled with so many wonderful things.

I will be blogging on my progress, and I hope that you will find it in your heart, and to be very honest your check book as well, to come along for the ride and please donate to my cause. Through your giving and my running, let's change a life or two.

There is so much more to this story and I hope you come back often to see how the journey is going. Well it's time for me to head out the door into the rain for another of many training runs. Hope to see you on the roads or trails be blessed and please remember to get out there and RUNWELL!

God Bless
Steven

Thoughts of a Crazy Man.

Today has been a real struggle for me. Mostly confused with life. My Life that is. I am so very proud of all my friends out there. You all are such great examples. You see something and you go after it. You can see it and then you get to it, and get it done. I know that there are times that you struggle, but you never let it defeat you. I just don't know how to do that. Why is it so hard for me to stick with something? Anything for that matter. Nothing ever seems to fit. I want to do something great, but what is it? I think it's one thing and then it's not. I know that for some of you reading this will be frustrating believe me I get it. I struggle everyday, everyday is a fight. But I do fight, someday's I win, others not so much.  I have seen doctors, nothing seems to work. I talk to friends nothing seem to fit. I run sometimes that works, other times not so much. I know that I can do so much more. But like I said I struggle to make up my mind. Someday's I want the pain to just go away. I want to mental shit to be over. But I know that that is not the answer, and I would never hurt my family in that way. Sometimes I just need to vent and it makes me better, other times not so much. Mental illness sucks. I refuse to claim that I have it. I know that Jesus name is above all names. But still I struggle. I know that no one person can answer what my shit is. I think only I can do that. I said to some one just yesterday who running has helped with my depression. And yet it still comes back. I am trying to fight the good fight. I tell people every day to fight the good fight of faith. I need to do it too. Yes I do have the answers to what is my problem. Doing them is scary and frightening. I have failed so many times that now at this stage of life I am lost. Why, Why , why...

I don't know where to go from here. I write to help others and yet I even sabotage that as well. I have lost most of my writings do to my own stupidity. But that is me. When I was 17, my Mom had died and I was living on my own in a not so good part of Las Vegas, I was doing drugs and drinking. I was a very lost soul. Nothing was going right. I was so stressed that I even broke out in the worst case of Hives. I ended up in the emergency room were they gave me shot after shot to try and get them to go away. After a couple of days they did, but then I went into even a deeper depression. I got drunk and high that night. I went to my book case where I kept my Motocross trophies I had all types of 1st, 2nd and 3rd place trophies in that case. I opened up the door to my Apartment and started throwing them against the brick wall and breaking them into pieces. Now looking back I have nothing to show that I had ever been a racer. That part of me is gone. I lost what pictures I had in a house fire and over time things have just vanished. I have never share this with anyone. That night was the worst night of my life. It was also the beginning of what has been a life long quest to figure out my life.

I share this in hopes that maybe there is someone out there fighting the same fight. I am still fighting and I won't stop fighting. What ever you do don't give up. Life is to short already, don't do something stupid like ending it. I know at least this much today. I will figure out what it is I am looking for. I will find that job that will make me feel like I am contributing to some one or something. Being there for someone else is great when you can be. Learning that, that might be the only thing you can be is what's hard for me.

My Life is..... I want to know what it should be. My search continues, as I stand in a bank like a door mate wondering who is going to be next to step on me. I know it's starting to sound like a pity party in here but this is the roller coaster that is Steven Arthur Fredericks.

THE POWER OF IRONMAN

Linda Banks, The Fighter,

Where does one start when it comes to describing an individual like Linda Banks. Well I can start with the fact that she is Brave, She is Tough, Linda is a Gift, She is Scared, She is Faithful, She is a Mother and a Wife. But most of all she is STRONG.

Linda Banks Strong as Iron!

Linda is about to show us just how strong she is. In 20 plus days she will take on an event that only 1% if that of the human race will ever attempt and complete. The event you might ask, is the Ironman in Coeur d Alene, ID. For those of you that have been hiding under a rock, an Ironman Triathlon consists of a 2.4 mile Swim, 112 mile Bike, 26.2 mile Run. Oh yeah all in under 17 hours. And let me tell you, Linda will be on that starting line, pushing herself to prove that people fighting Arthritis, can be all they want to be if they just believe and fight the good fight of faith.

Linda & Brayden

Steven & Linda

But Linda does come to this alone. No Linda has the best of the best. In her words Linda say's of her husband Steven, "My husband supports me in the manner to which I've become accustomed" and by the looks of it he does a really good job of it. Then there is Linda's pride and joy, Brayden her son, who in his own right is quite the athlete.

When you have a support system like this how could you not want to do your very best. Linda is that type of athlete. She puts it all out there on the line for everyone to see. She will show you her fears. She will let you know that at times she cannot see herself standing at the swim start of this Ironman swim start.

The day of Jim Ristow

What I find so appealing about Linda is her sense of aw when it comes to this sport and the people who do it. She has a friendship base unlike any I have ever seen. I think the funniest thing was the day that she became friends with a friend of mine on Facebook. Jim Ristow is a 2 time Ironman Triathlete, Jim truly is a great guy and a friend you want to have around for inspiration and comic relief. Well the day that Jim accepted Linda's friend request, you would have thought she had just been accepted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Lind's life is not only about Triathlon. Linda and her family enjoy many of life's joys together like all families should. And believe me when I say, all families all families can enjoys life's journey together. It doesn't matter how much money you have. What matters is that you take the time to do things together with the ones you love and cherish. The Banks Family do just that take the picture below. The family on a backpacking trip through Yellowstone National Park.

Bank's Family in Yellowstone.

Now it's time for me to ask all my readers for their faithfulness. I am asking you to keep this awesome lady in your prayers and in your thoughts. Linda will need all of us behind her cheering her on to that Ironman Finish Line on June 24,2012. Let us remember the joy that we had the first time we came a cross the finish line of an event that we put so much time into. The joy the elation and the release of all the emotion that was involved. Let's not forget the joy and goofyness of our friend. Every time I think of Linda I thing of the mile of smiles that she will leave behind her on that day of Ironman.

Linda I am so PROUD of you and all that you have come from to get to this point. No matter what happens on Race day. You will always be an IRONMAN to us. All that know you are blessed to have them in your life. I know I am. Keep on keeping on and enjoy the journey. You are a true Door Knob turner. God bless you everyday and remember to just "B R E A T H"

God Bless
Steven

Let's do this.